on august

12aug

christy feels dumb. she has moved to sweden and learned to speak chinese.
no matter how many german books i go through, i shall not learn swiss-german. and yet, everyone around me continues to speak swiss-german. unless, of course, they are addressing me personally, in which case they speak english. not german. this makes the conversations at the dinner table either very difficult for me, or very boring, depending on my mood. end of bitch-fest.

i have seen places. i have not written lately, as i have been so busy seeing places, and as i have no internet connection. and lately means about three months. so i have some catching up to do. btw, i write for myself.
i have now seen most of switzerland. the largest waterfall in europe, the rhinefall, is quite close (by canadian standards, of course), and quite spectacular. you can get right down next to it, too, which is pretty darn cool.

baby took me on a little motorbike trip through italy and the alps. we went over the stilfser-joch, which is like, 34 clicks of road with about 85 turns in it. CRAZY fun on a bike. we stayed a night on lago di garda, which is gorgeous, and perfect for swimming. we went to the tourist office to book a hotel, then we suited up, hopped on the bike, and drove fifteen metres to the hotel. as soon as we pulled into the parking lot, the manager ran out to us with a key in his hand. "duschen!" said he, pointing to the room, then, "baden!", pointing to the pool, and finally, "grappa!", pointing to the bar. (translation: shower, swim, get a little drunk.) he was great.
we went as far as venice. venice is a very special place. a little crowded, though. we went first in the evening, got lost and eventually stumbled upon a piazza and bars with outdoor terraces, where we had a drink. maybe two. then we looked at the map, got even more lost, and eventually had to ask a local to take us back to the bus station. the next day we went back and fell in love with the place, in spite of the gondaliers wanting two hundred euros for a ride in a boat, and in spite of having to pay to pee.

we went over the centovalli, which is actually a road, and it started to rain. we stopped in a little catholic town at about 2000 metres, and all the women were old and dressed really nicely, and i felt like a heel in my bike clothes and wouldn't go into the big beautiful church because i didn't want to offend anyone. the hotel there was full, so we went to the next town and stayed in a one-star, which i never would have considered had there not been lightning on the road ahead. no matter, it was a great place and i would go again in a heartbeat, even though i ran out of water halfway through rinsing out my conditioner. the girl who checked us in turned out also to be the bartender and the waitress in the little restaurant they had there. she was super-duper, and i really mean that. the food was also spectacular, cheap, and unending. i couldn't even eat the dessert (included in the super cheap price) because i was so full. and that is sad. but we had grappa after, because we were in italy, and i felt much better.

we eventually made it to zermatt to see the matterhorn, but the clouds wouldn't go away. so, instead of looking at that, we watched the olympics on tv. maybe we'll see it next time.

25aug
i spoke on the phone today with baby's youngest older sister. she's the one i haven't met because she is in africa. she speaks english with an african accent. she sounds nice. i don't get to meet her this trip, because they, she and her husband, are not coming back to switzerland until december, and i leave in september. that is sad.
i am published! officially! my baby was so very excited when i told him, he picked me up. after he dried his hands of course. (he was washing them when i told him).
hello, rooster. he is in the kitchen. he is called "gecku" but i don't know how to spell it.
i have read several books recently. we found a stash of english books upstairs from when the older sisters were learning. there are lots of famous ones that i always wanted to, but never did, read.
baby's mother has done some travelling. the other day she showed me pictures from london, italy, france and austria.
good chocolate is cheap here. comparatively. its too bad i have to go.
we went yesterday to the emmental to a show-cheesery. we learned how the famous holey swiss cheese is made, and could see the big vats of cheesey-goo being made through a glass window. the woman working in there knew that everyone was watching her clean things and change parts and push buttons. i couldn't clean things and change parts and push buttons with everyone watching me. she had white rubber boots on.
power status: battery charge is low. gotta go.

on weeks

12apr
10:30 last night we were racing go-carts. it was fast. they were fast. i drove right into the wall, bounced off, and did a 180, really fast, and it was great. better, actually, when i was moving, and not crashing, but always great. except today my neck is spasming all over the place. which is quite uncomfortable. baby belongs to a motorcycle club, and it were they whom we went with to the racetrack. because, as everyone knows, people in motorcycle clubs like speed. every time i went around a particularly sharp bend in the track, all i could think was, “i have medical insurance!”
on another note, ich liebe den schocolade. thats german.

17apr
major moment just now. i was listening to the beatles, imagine, when the bells started ringing perfectly in tune and beat with the music. ah, the bells.
on sunday we went to rigi mountain, near lucerne. as we rode up on the train at about a 45degree angle, i felt as though i would fall from my seat onto the passenger across from me. luckily, the passenger across from me was my heartthrob, and i was unconcerned. we ate in a lovely restaurant on the mountain, where the waiter spoke english. i have come to realize that there is no lack of english-speakers no matter where i go. as a matter of fact, most of the visitors to the mountain were in fact tourists, specifically english-speaking tourists. nevertheless, i often remain diligent in my german language studies.
this week i am left alone to my vices, as my lovely man has been taken away from me by the swiss army. only during these three weeks, however, must i entertain myself, as he is allowed to come home on the weekends. i am planning an excursion, but i shall keep the details to myself until the time has come to share experiences, and not just plans, with you.

18apr
picked up baby from the army today. as i was driving on the scary european highway, i suddenly changed my mind. no longer was it a terrifying place to be, where the cars, all driving at outrageous speeds, are clustered together in the inevitable vicinity of death and serious injury, oh no. now it has become a challenge, a race, a hoot. who can be the fastest, the most spry, hurtling through the other traffic, from one lane to the next and back again, over and over in a jumble of cars and speed and cautious danger. and the only reason they do it is because they can. what a lovely place.

22apr
it has been raining for two days straight without stopping. no wonder this country is so green.
baby's mother is charming. she telephones her amigos all afternoon. however, if the phone rings of its own accord, she responds, “ja, ja,” slowly rises from her seat where she has been reading or trying to converse with me, exchanging her broken english for my broken german, and blithely grumbles all the way to the corner where the phone resides and answers in a pleasant voice. she works hard and is happy, and i admire her already.
saturday we went to bern. we saw the old town, about 700 years old to be precise, with its buildings still intact and beautiful. in the old cellars, with doors opening into the street, are shops and cafes. on ground level are more shops and cafes with terraces out into the cobblestone street. the river runs right through the city, and there are amazing views from wherever you are. the cherry trees are in full blossom and their flowers are spread about between the cobblestones and in the grass. we saw the cathedral, which absolutely makes the skyline. it was breathtaking. it took over 600 years to be built, and finally it was finished in the late 1800s. floor to ceiling stained glass windows with depictions of literal holy terrors are on every wall. the pipe organs were the most impressive, though. the largest, hidden above the entrance, was shiny and brilliant, complete with angel sculptures and elaborate paintings. to climb to the top of the tower for an impressive view of the city costs CHF4, which i think is a touch ridiculous in a church. but nobody asked me, so it will continue, i'm sure.
it's still raining.

23apr
can't find a wireless connection to save my life.
forgot to mention the rock concert we went to saturday night. we went to a rock concert saturday night. a swiss band, who incidentally sings in english, called shakra. very nice, actually. i quite enjoyed it. something else about this lovely country – red vodka. wonderful stuff. very nice mixed with red bull – drunk, maybe, but not sleepy! good combination for a concert of this volume.
met baby's godmother today. very nice lady. speaks english. big family, this one. baby's got five sisters, two brothers, all of whom have spouses, some of whom have children, and every one has a godmother and a godfather. that's large. i have one sister. that's small. so who says a bit of contrast ain't good for the soul.
i have had no access to the internet for over two weeks. i have a list as long as my arm of things i need to look up stat. i'm so sad. i might go crazy. if you visit an asylum in the near future, don't be surprise if you see me there.
side note: it's still raining, but only outside.

24apr
in a cafe in aarau. posting. feeling relief. over and out. and lame.

on travelling and disappearing acts

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26mar

for my next trick, on the count of go, i shall disappear before your very eyes and shall not reappear until six months have come and gone! aaaaand..... go!

so i'm hiding in switzerland. it's amazing. trick actually worked!

we had a layover in amsterdam for about two hours. i wrote some postcards home because now i am a flag-wearing, map-toting tourist. when we landed in zurich, giant snowflakes were falling. winter just follows me wherever i go. it reminded me of home a bit – the four seasons in canada*: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction. i guess that since i knew switzerland had hardly any snow this winter, i brought some with me, because canada won't miss it.

now i am in moosleerau, one of switzerland's many villages. in each village reside about two or three hundred people, and just down the road and just over that hill are more villages. they are charming and quaint little places, comfortable and homey and swiss. moosleerau is in a valley, but the mountains here are small. some of the trees are strange to me, but most of the countryside is quite similar to canada. sometimes i forget i am in europe for that reason, but then i see a doorknob or a toilet or the windows on the side of a house and it nudges me back into the dream. soon we'll be travelling a bit and i'll have lots more to say.

*joke courtesy of meine schwester.

27mar

we went to aarau today. bought an adapter for my electronic gadgets and a dictionary. the language seems impossible – swiss-german is like a whole different language than german, although essentially the structure is the same. babe told me just to learn german because you can't learn swiss from a book, so i had almost given up until today. we wandered into a bookstore downtown aarau and i spotted an english/german/swiss-german dictionary. now i feel that the culture shock will actually wear off (eventually).

speaking of culture shock, oh my god. it's a bit overwhelming, everything changing at once. the time, the language, the food, even mealtimes. all of my surroundings are strange. it's exciting and terrifying at once. and i always want to sleep. i read that if you don't sleep on the plane, the jet lag lasts one day for every time zone you cross. so that makes nine days for me. nevertheless, i am having a hoot! until next time.

28mar

baby went to aarau again today for paperwork, and he's bringing me chocolate. ya baby.

child prodigy; part ii

snow pilgrim
eating wild mushrooms,
toxic presence overpowers sky
planting there
with roots deep as sunflowers

circa 2003

on life's unexpected occurrences

i am going to switzerland in six days. for six months. this is my big chance, baby. see the world, meet some people, eat some food, do some stuff. i couldn't be more excited. or afraid.

i am going to switzerland in six days with my swiss boyfriend. only, i don't like the term "boyfriend" for some raison peculiar and unknown. it seems a touch juvenile or something. not that i am terribly grown up, but neither am i in the eighth grade. the girls at work called him my "heartthrob." not bad, not bad.

i am going to switzerland in six days with my swiss heartthrob. i shall be meeting his parents and his eight brothers and sisters. wow.

in other news, i won $9 on a lottery ticket.

on the lunchroom, once again

somehow today at work, the subject of lunchroom conversation became the difference between dealers and the guys who collect. a coworker said this: "if we could get away with it, we would all do it. sit back, collect the money, but stay spotless. i would do it. everyone would do it."

i'm not sure that i have disagreed with anything more in my life. not self-righteous, no. it's just wrong.

sure, it's easy to collect the dough, make the threats, have the power. you just don't see what it does to people. lives are ruined because the ones with the power are the ones with the greed and apathy. the bosses watch their underlings polish the new boat and redo the house while the addicts inch their way closer to the grave, while everyone pushes and while nobody is left to pull them back out.

on freezing herbs, etc.

"if you can't get out an english word, that's embarassing. you gotta sit back for a while."

"i tried pot one time. i didn't know what he was putting in my deep-freeze. you do put herbs in the deep-freeze."

new revelation. the latter is a quote from my mother.

sleeping in.
eating butter.
drinking wine.
timing.
fondue.

i should write a haiku. but i don't think i will.

on time and mathematics

I feel as though I should have been born in 1905. I wasn't. I wonder if that was supposed to happen. Maybe it's a lesson of some kind. Let's see how we can put this to practical use, like math.

I will say this: Travelling must have been much easier in 1905. I'm not a terrorist. I never have been, nor do I plan to become, a terrorist. Yet I cannot evade all kinds of necessary paperwork and ulcer-causing problems. It makes me want to talk like a pirate; "Aaaaargh!" (just as an example).

1905. When women were strong, but not obvious; nurturing, yet itching to create scandal. When women were filled with an explosive desire to break out of the box that society confined them to, and nearly ready to. Must have been infuriating and amazing to be a part of it. Now that the work is done we often take our boxless existences for granted. Which is too bad.

1905. To be around when original Picassos were cheap, when Hollywood was crowned the movie capital of the world, when food was always fresh and water always clean. Around when rules of etiquette slowly began to unravel, when skirts became shorter, and when music became art. This I would have liked to experience.

Not that IPods and Wiis aren't really really neat.

on what he just said

are those your only problems?

on grammar and indecency

i work in a photo lab. i am often shocked by the pictures people are brave enough to share, even though they are only sharing them with me, an impartial, silent stranger whom they will never encounter again. the rest of the time, i am relieved that i am the one to see them rather than some unknown person who might make copies and post them on the internet, for example, one of my co-workers. "that would be so worth getting fired!" he says to me. part of me is inclined to agree, while the other part is shaking my head in disbelief.
still, think twice next time you take your dirty photos in.

facebook is ridiculous. not to sound like a hater, but it is just way too popular for its own good. i went to mine today, you know, routine checkup, to find it telling me to put all my applications on a second page. because, of course, under the assumption that i will add four or five hundred more applications per week, i should keep my main page "less cluttered." so i deleted them all. ha.

you won't find it unless you go look for it.
enough said.

lunch break today. as i was drinking my tea, squeezing in that last bit of chill time before i returned to confront the crazies and the photos, i started an argument. i didn't mean to. somebody mentioned that she had a hard time keeping track of time, and therefore stated that "whoever invented clocks suck." i couldn't help it. i corrected, "sucks." which i'm sure is right. "whoever invented clocks sucks." but suddenly, i was lost in a sea of opposition. it started out as "it's plural, so it's suck," briefly became "clocks is plural, so it's suck," then was settled at "whoever is plural, so it's suck." i said, "whoever is singular." but of the ten or so people in the room, 3 were strongly against my absurd ideas, 2 were practically over the fence, and the rest just couldn't make up their minds. i, of course, was on my side. well, the squabble hadn't faded ten minutes later. i didn't know what to do. i announced my withdrawal from the conversation, which was dramatically met with sighs of relief and a shout of comprimise: "whoever invented clocks is dead, so it should be "sucked."" good nuff.

on champagne and crazies.

happy 2008! that means my twentieth year. holy ancients, batman!

i had a fantabulous new year's week... not necessarily including night/morning of. not that it didn't have it's good points too, but looking back, the bar might be leaning slightly badways.

i spent the week at sun peaks, skiing and drinking and commiting heinous sins. not to mention spending all those dimes i've worked so hard to attain. might have spent someone else's dimes too, but i just don't remember.

people are so crazy. so very very crazy. on the eve of 2008, there was a party in the lodge. live music. nice bar. shortage of chairs, crowded dance floor. tons of foreign countriers. one in particular, an austrian. traditional garb, even. he floated over to our group when he heard a german/swiss-german conversation, as my travelling buddies are native to that language, to europe even. and then it was 12. complimentary champagne and kisses. and here is herr lederhosen, with a secret... "follow me." he had smuggled in two bottles of the finest champagne, "from frawnce!" pushing the first towards me, he urged, "you are very beautiful... you must open it!" as it was not mine, i thought it not overly proper to do so, and respectfully declined. he insisted. i declined once more. he insisted again. and so on, and so forth. long story short, i popped the cork and poured away. it was a very exhilerating experience (it was my first time). we clinked glasses, and that was that. literally. you see, i have a weakness called champagne. i'll stop there.

and then there was skiing. amazing views. wind blowing through everything. steep hills. gently rolling inclines. lifts carrying us above the trees. lifts dumping us all over each other and the strangers unfortunate enough to climb on with us. we met people from all over the world -australia, france, austria, england, south africa, coquitlam. cool cool time.

the friday after new year's my boyfriend and i spent in kamloops, a.k.a. "the big cereal." we spent hours in bookstores and music stores, and i was very content. the cereal's lower east side, however, is full of crazies. i didn't know that, as my father is a store nazi, and only ever took us to the mall when we went on daytrips. i thought, hey, we have freedom today, let's go downtown. so we did, and i discovered the reason that my father is a store nazi. literally, as soon as we get out of the car, we meet one of them. the crazies, i mean. we're just walking down the street, having a conversation, behind "her," when she turns around and jumps right in. uninvited. not so bad, you're thinking. i know. but then, eyes bulging, she starts telling us her life story, then ends with "now i live over there. i'm just walking downtown, you know, taking a walk. don't know where i'm going. you know where you're going? need directions anywhere?" i'm thinking, run away. the innocent on my right isn't. "we're looking for the library!" he says. "oh!" she says, "that's where i'm going! i'll take you!" what a strange woman. so we round the corner, and she turns right to go up a ramp, apparently with a door at the end. "come on!" she says. i tell her i want to check out a bookstore across the street, and it is all over. we hide out in the bookstore for about an hour, then head over to the ramp she has taken. we turn the corner to the door, then i reach for the doorknob. but there is no doorknob. there is no window. there is nothing. nothing else up the ramp, either. it is a down ramp, and an out door. not an in door. an out door. with no way to get in. no way to get in. i'm telling you, crazies. we go to the art gallery, which is in the same building, passing the door to the library. mr subtlety over here sees her in the library, and without thinking, pulls me away from the opening like a bomb is about to go off. "the crazy lady's in there!" i think maybe he's one too.