one chapter down...

Today is a beautiful day. I don't know if you seen it, but I'm telling you right now, it's beautiful. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and the cliches are piling up.

I decided to take advantage of this weather and catch up on some reading this afternoon. So I grabbed a pillow and my most recent 'I've-decided-to-read-this-no-matter-how-long-it-takes-me-just-so-I-can-say-I-read-it-and-perhaps-expand-my-mind-a-little-in-the-process' book and headed out into the sunshine. Where it was warm.

Right now, it is still a gorgeous afternoon. Yet I am not outside. I am, in fact, inside. Turns out that a half a kilo of SPF30 is only enough when it's cloudy. And I suspect that, being a fair-skinned redhead with only half a kilo of SPF30, venturing out-of-doors to take advantage of the sunshine was not exactly the most brilliant of ideas.

And here is where I tell you why.

I only have half a kilo of after-sun.

on art and dissatisfaction

I've always felt like I could be a writer. You know, poems, stories, songs. I'm really good at descriptions and editing. The trouble is that I can't manage to write a story to edit or a find a subject to describe. And I can't write a poem to save my life.

Prime Example:
There once was a girl from the Nile
Who sat in the sun for a while
She started to bake
So she jumped in the lake
And was ate by a big crocodile

Okay, acceptable as a limerick, yet lacking something. Am I wrong?

This little dilemma all started back before I was born when I decided to become artistic. And when I was old enough to move, I did a little dance and called it art. And then, when I was old enough to pick up a crayon, I made a mark on a paper and called it art. And then, when I was old enough to reach the piano, I pushed a few keys and called it art. And now, I am old enough to write, and if I put a few words together I feel like they have no purpose; no meaning. That is, of course, if I can figure out which words to put together.

I seem to be able to write about things that I am not satisfied about, though, so I guess that's a start.

Maybe I'll call it art.

the little prince (by antoine de saint-exupery)

You should read this story.

http://home.pacific.net.hk/~rebylee/text/prince/contents.html

Go there and read it. Or better yet, go to your local library and find the book version. It's so much more charming on paper.

Either way, I would recommend that you begin with chapter one.

on doing nothing

A week and a half ago I had my birthday. It was really nifty.

Yesterday I slept until 6:30. Like, p.m. Not so nifty.

Now I have this great disappointment in myself. As in, if this is how I'm spending my time, my life, I might just as well not have it. Not to say that sleeping until after dinner is a regular occurence, but still. There are more worthwhile things to do than sleep. I can sleep when I'm dead.

I've always felt that I have this sort of responsibility to myself to make something of myself, spend every moment I can doing something that will benefit somebody, learn about something new every day, you know, be a better person. And I feel so terribly guilty when I don't. But I shouldn't. I think. Well, I dunno, maybe I should. I don't like knowing that I've wasted an entire day that I will never get back.

Maybe I'll get over it.

on curses and being hit by trains

i have no job.

this all began about two weeks ago. actually, it began about eight months ago, when i was changing jobs. my former employer had decided to close the shop i was working in, and therefore i was obviously not needed. luckily, i had aquired a second job (at the restaurant) shortly before this was announced, and was able to smoothly transition into only one job once again. and so it was. and it was all sunshine and rainbows (well, figuratively speaking, it was not sunshine and rainbows at all, but its all over now and i don't really want to talk about that), when suddenly, two weeks ago, BAM! i was hit by a train and i lost my job. well, figuratively speaking, of course. the bosses announced that they had decided to close the restaurant. so yesterday was my last day, which means that now, i have no job.

let's just backtrack a little bit here. in the past year, i have held two jobs. and i lost them both for the same reason. now, of course, i have begun to think that i may carry a curse of some sort. i'm sure it's just bad luck, but it is still a curse.

i'm very excited to see what happens next.