i try to but am sure that i never will understand why things happen. more specifically, i am sure that i never will understand why awful things happen to wonderful people.
the head of a caring and generous family is taken away after months of struggling with cancer.
half of an amazing young couple, the kindest man i will ever know, is claimed by the same fate months before his second child is born.
a treasured wife, mother, daughter, and friend battles for over a year before she, too, succumbs to the disease and misses the transformation of her two young sons into the men that they will become.
these people all had tremendous support, hope and prayers behind them to the very end. everybody believed so hard that "the end" would turn out differently. but it didn't. and i'm here asking why.
why is it that the people who least deserve it are the ones who get it? whatever happened to karma?
i'm afraid that i may never understand life's cruelty. some say that everything happens for a reason; to make us stronger, to guide us later on. but i fail to see how a child will learn life through losing a teacher. i fail to see how a young girl will become stronger by walking down the aisle alone.
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I've long been of the opinion that anyone who tries to convince you that there's a purpose to life, some sense of meaning that can be uncovered, is at the very least lying, and perhaps even secretly cruel. At it's best, it seems that life is random and absurd. At it's worst, it's ugly and mean and cold.
Bad things happen to good people who don't deserve them, and horrible people are often rewarded for being horrible. Karma seems to be a joke, and any attempt to create a sense of order from randomness is sure to leave one dizzy, confused, and ultimately miserable.
About the only thing you can do, if you want to try to keep all this pointlessness from getting overwhelming, is to force some sense of meaning on these events for yourself. Don't let them just slide by without taking advantage of them, even if it is only to remind yourself that life is beautiful and precious and sometimes, tragically, short, so make every effort you can to enjoy each day as much as possible, because it's a gift, and because it may be your last.
Perhaps not the most uplifting, inspirational speech ever given. But, as you may know, I'm not real good at uplifting or inspirational.
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